How do you keep a moron busy?

...tell her to wash the windows at a greenhouse.
Okay so I didn't actually wash the greenhouse glass, but I did make "white tornado" on the headhouse this weekend.(Head house is the area of a nursery where the office, kitchen,potting bench and bathrooms are) It was cloudy all weekend and not much needed water, I couldn't work on show orders because all the brokers are off on the weekend, so I decided to clean. And man did I clean. I filled the dumpster halfway up with crap that has been lying around unused for the past 15-20 years. Then once I finished shop-vaccing the place with a four inch wide nozzle, I decided the windows made the place look dirty, so I set to work on them. Two rolls of paper towels and 3 hours later, the place looks spiffy. Too bad it won't stay that way for more than a week. At least Jo can be surprised when she comes into work in the morning.
On the home front...
Sam (the neighbor's dog) has decided it's his perogative to sneak under the fence and come into our yard whenever he feels like it. He spent the night in our house last night- which is okay because the neighbors were gone all day and night anyway. Hubby shoved him back under the fence after I got home from work. Not an easy task with an almost full grown male Rottie. Tomorrow I am visiting Wal-Mart and getting some tent stakes to pin the fence down. My back door can't handle his big ass jumping on it much longer.
Alan has been hanging around like the stink of cooked fish too. I don't mind him coming for a few hours, but this weekend he was here 24/7. Usually I don't mind him too much, but last week while my husband took a nap, the rat-bastard looked through my kitchen until he found the bottle of Kahlua I had stashed and drank most of it. Since I like to have a K&coffee in the evening sometimes, I bought another bottle this week. This time I stashed it in an under the potholders in my kitchen drawer. Today I get home from work and the near-empty bottle is sitting on the counter. Also when I got home the house was filled with gas from the stove burner being left on-unlit. Hubby walks in the front door about an hour later and we have a little talk about his charge. Seems ol Al told hubby he was gonna walk home, so hubby walked to the store to get some smokes. In that short time, the thief found my liquor, tried to light a smoke with the stove, and since he didn't understand how an electric ignition works, left the freakin burner on.
I found Alan out in the garage, passed out in a lawn chair. I told him while I don't dislike you for being an alcoholic, I do mind you being a thief and almost blowing up my house. I told him he was no longer welcome to be inside my house when Bruce or I wasn't around. I think he got my message loud and clear.He left a few minutes ago to walk home.
Now to enjoy what's left of my Kahlua with a nice hot bath.