Sunshine, lollipops and ...well you know the song

Before I continue this story, I must regress to a very important detail I neglected to mention. Ole Hank (who, if we remember, knows the city code by heart) had a pool installed in his 50' x100' yard. Well, the week before the pool arrived ass called a tree service to come in and trim his other neighbor's lovely old black walnut trees so that no limb should have a chance to dare drop leaves or walnuts into his pool. Ever since then I had the impression the Hill's didn't appreciate nature. At the time, I was right. But then Hank's Wife retired.

I love nature.....It just needs some redecorating
Hank's Wife used to be a nagging pill when we first moved in, but when she retired, she mellowed a bit. One time I saw her in the grocery store, and though I did my best to avoid making eye contact, she actually came over and started a pleasant conversation with me. I forget what it was about, I only remembered that I was shocked that she had come to me, and that what came out of her mouth was genteel.
Now, I appreciate those who take pride in their house and yard (Lord knows, it looks like I could not care less about my own) but some people can take it too far.
I know a bit about gardening-it is my occupation, but not my hobby. Most folks I have found usually design their yards around plants they enjoy;perennials, butterfly plants, hardy tropical, that sort of thing. Hank Wife's love seems to be garden ornaments. First there was the motion sensor owl that hooted and spun it's head whenever a bird dared to land on the pool edge.
Hubby swears Hank had a spy camera in the thing that was watching our every move, but that's another chapter.
We used to have a dollar store at the end of the street(praise God it's out of business now) that sold tons of tacky trinkets for home and garden, and it seemed everyday, H.W. (Hank's Wife)
would bring another Chinese manufactured piece of crap to put in her flower bed. There are tinkly windchimes that blow in the slightest breeze, giving me the same relaxing sound that nails on a blackboard produce. Resin frogs, pigs and cows tucked among the dianthus. Porch flags that fly for every conceivable and inconceivable holiday. But by far the biggest laugh of a decoration has to be the rusted metal American flag with "Welcome" painted on it that stands by the front walk.....right behind the hand painted sign Hank made (at 7 a.m. one Saturday in his driveway with his table saw) that reads "KEEP OFF GRASS".
All the gazing globes and doodads in the world cannot satisfy one who's desire is to constantly redecorate, so in went a water garden, complete with little kiss blowing cement angel perched atop the rock waterfall.
Don't fence me in......
Okay if we've been paying attention, we know that Hank got himself a genuine Labrador retriever so he could have a swimmin dog like us. Guess what? LABS LIKE WATER!!! OF COURSE HE'S GONNA JUMP INTO THE POND YA MORONS!!!"
Poor Hank, H.W. chewed him (Hank, not Murphy) a new one and made him rebuild the waterfall. (aside to Hank, they make this stuff called ce-ment that will hold rocks together) The kiss blowing angel once again safely on her perch, got a new foot high fence for her water garden and she and the fishies are safe. The gazing globe in the back garden wasn't as lucky after being "played with"- ya idjut, labs play with balls too. So a new globe and fence was purchased for that garden as well. Just to be safe, fences were purchased for all of the flower beds, regardless of whether the Lab could get to them or not.

Closer to present.....A man's garage (and shed) are his castle or wax on wax off.